That you may know that GOD is real and that HE walks with you even as HE has walked with me.
Through Him, With Him, In Him,
I journey on.
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LETTERS TO GOD
It's been a hectic week
Are you listening?
Of idiots and such
LETTERS FROM GOD
I hear you
REFLECTIONS
we do not own God
pilgrimage
one God
the rainbow
in my quiet moments
I am thankful
God's majesty
in good times and in bad
do you love me enough?
because He lives
faith
my God and I
God is the finder of me
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I am unable to publish my posts. I am getting:
001 java.net.ConnectException: Connection
refused
Ok - am gonna try to Republish Index Only - see if it works.
Worked once and then no more :(
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A few things bother me and make me feel like a real hypocrite when I speak of my faith. Of these, the following stand out:
1. I am very scared of dying. By this I mean the way/process I have to undergo before I die. I should not be afraid but I am. I am so afraid of pain.
2. I look at some of the saints and I wonder why they had to suffer so much before they died. Then, I think to myself: It's not easy to be a saint. If one has to suffer like that, I don't think I have the courage to be a saint. Now, that might sound a tad presumptuous. I mean, really! The cheek of it all. How can a person like me even think I would be even be called to be a saint. Tsk! Tsk! But, wait a minute! Aren't all Christians called to sainthood? And has not God called many a lowly one to sainthood. So well, I would imagine that all those who live for God may and can be called to sainthood, yes? Guess what I mean to say is that I wish I had the courage of the saints when they suffered pain and death for Christ and I feel that I do not have what it takes to do what all of them have done.
SO, when I look at myself and when I review my fears, I tell myself that I am a person of little faith.
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The pilgrimage I went on made me think of the above over and over again.
A few things/thoughts have been coming into my mind after the pilgrimage.
1. Each time we go for mass and we partake of the body and blood of Christ, we become 'one with him'. Just as Christ suffered and offered up his sufferings to God for the salvation of the world, we can do the same with the sufferings we have to undergo. Still, I have to pray hard - consistently and persistently - for God's grace so that I can do this when my time comes. For alone, I can do nothing.
2. Mary, the chosen one by God, also had to suffer so much. When I look to Mary, I see how she took on all that suffering without complaining. She was so totally obedient to God's will and she had such great faith in God - that he would deliver her from all things - and all pain. So, as I reflect on the stations of the cross and walk with Mary and Christ up Calvary, I will pray that God grants me the grace to have that faith which Mother Mary and Christ had; that I may have the strength to carry on the good fight till I breathe my last breath.
3. Visiting the shrines of the Saints. At first I thought nothing much of these visits. Yes, I regarded them as holy places and had respect for those who had died in the service of God. But, I felt nothing much personally. I was an onlooker, an observer, not a participant. However, upon my return home, I am beginning to see how these visits now serve as an encouragement to me - reminding me that all is possible with God's grace; that we are human but if we listen and obey God, we will be blessed; that though our path here on earth may be fraught with hardship and sufferings, He will carry us through it all. As I reflect on these things, I no longer feel like I am just the observer or onlooker that I was - I am now a co-participant with them in God's plan. I say this in all humility. I feel as if the Lord is telling me,"Look. I have sent you to see what can be done. Let me show you what is possible when you let me totally into your life. My grace will be enough for you. Look. See. Believe. Do not be afraid."
